When You Wish Upon a Dandelion
by brokenmoonlight
Summary: It's a stifling hot day at the Zooniverse, and something happens involving alcohol, a dandelion and a bit of tickling. You know it's just slashy, fluffy goodness.


**A/N: As promised, here is the fluff to make up for the tragedy in my last story. It's also the first Boosh fic I've ever written set in the Zoo days. It is slashy, and does get a bit sexy, but I haven't gone into detailed smut. Inspired by our current lovely hot weather – let's hope it long continues! And for some reason, I seem to have developed a weird obsession with Howard pushing Vince up against things! This is dedicated to, well, all of you really, for being so amazing and wonderful!**

**Disclaimer: Not mine, 'cause let's face it - if it was, I wouldn't have time to write fanfic if I also had to write scripts. I'll leave that to Noel and Julian!**

**xxxx**

The sun beat down unbearably on the small zoo, causing its inhabitants to fall into a state of meltdown. One of the zookeepers, Vince Noir, was currently sweeping half-heartedly, his movements sluggish as he pushed the broom one-handed across the dusty ground. After about thirty seconds more of this charade, he let the broom fall against a wall and ran the back of his hand over his forehead, frowning as it came away covered in sweat. He squinted in the sunlight towards the hut, and saw a blur of green wandering lazily towards him. A blur of green that looked as melted as Vince felt. He flopped down onto a nearby bench and leant his head back against the hot brick of the wall.

"Hey, Howard," he said, his voice tired, lost of its usual infectious energy.

Howard sat down heavily next to him, his limbs giving out with the effort of holding him up in the sweltering heat. "Hey there, little man."

Vince eyes suddenly widened as he caught sight of something, and he stared somewhat ungraciously out into the distance, not quite believing what he'd just seen. "Oh, God..." he groaned.

Howard frowned at him. "What?"

Vince gestured lazily in front of him. "Fossil's running around with his shirt off."

Sure enough, Bob Fossil was running around by the lion enclosure, big white belly sticking out for all to see, wobbling horribly as it bounced towards a group of children, who shrieked and dropped their ice-creams as they legged it away from the retarded Zooniverse manager, whose sweat was glinting in the light and dripping onto the ground. Howard fought the urge to retch.

"Don't you go getting any ideas, Indiana Jones. The zoo will be put into quarantine if you decide to strip off and join him. No one needs to see that."

Even though he knew Vince was only teasing, his heat exhaustion had made his temper shorter than short, and Howard snapped before he even realised he'd opened his mouth.

"Thanks, Vince. You know just how to make me feel good about myself, don't you?"

Howard was up and gone before Vince even had time to register what had happened, storming off across the courtyard without even a glance back, and the young man rested his hot head in his hands and sighed. This weather wasn't doing any good for anyone.

xxxx

Vince found Howard sitting on the edge of the fountain in the courtyard, scooping up the cold water and dribbling it over his face and neck. Vince hesitated for a moment, just watching him. The water trickled down Howard's face in cool streaks, sparkling as it caught the sun, and Vince had to swallow and blink back a sudden fuzziness that was beginning to cloud his brain. Wait - where the hell had** that** come from? Shaking his head, he adopted a look of nonchalance and wandered over to the melting Maverick.

"Howard?"

Howard shook the water off his hands and looked up at the electro poof with a defiant gleam in his eyes.

"What do you want?"

Vince sighed and plonked himself down heavily next to him, shoving his hands into the icy water and wiping it over his forehead, and then he watched as Howard's eyes closed against the beating sun, the perspiration on his face and his flushed cheeks making him glow. He almost looked... Vince's eyes widened and he turned his head away quickly, embarrassed at what he'd just been thinking and confused again as to why. Probably just the heat frying my brain, he reasoned. He offered Howard an apologetic smile.

"I'm sorry, Howard."

Howard glared at him.

"Oh, don't be like that – I didn't mean it!"

Howard visibly sagged in defeat, and Vince chewed on his thumb as he tried to disguise a smile.

""Come on, I'll make it up to you."

Vince stood and reached down to pull Howard up.

"Where we going?"

"To get changed."

That wasn't actually what Howard had meant, but he couldn't be bothered to argue.

xxxx

The bar along the canal was full to the brim of people trying to cool off from the heat. Now, the sun was beginning to set and the sky glowed a beautiful burnt orange and pink. The boys were sitting outside under a large parasol which was shading an old, wooden bench, several empty glasses and dinner plates scattered between them. Canal boats drifted lazily passed them – even the ducks couldn't be bothered to do more than tread water. Vince took a spoonful of his dessert, a rather large chocolate sundae, and aimed it between his lips. Howard watched, suddenly fascinated as a dribble of chocolate sauce tricked down Vince's chin. Then he shook himself, and handed his friend a serviette, trying not to look as Vince's tongue darted out to catch the sweet, sticky substance.

"Do you think we should get you a bib?"

Vince pointed his pink tongue at Howard before popping it back into his mouth.

Howard felt a bit strange. This had actually been quite nice. Obviously, he and Vince had eaten together hundreds, probably thousands, of times before, but something about this night was different. They'd laughed and joked and not once had they sniped at each other – not even in jest. Vince's cheeks were flushed a startling shade of pink, and the gold bits in his hair were catching the light like a halo. He looked like some sort of odd china doll – and at that thought, Howard visibly shivered. He **hated** china dolls. And clowns. And punch and Judy. And...

"Howard?"

Howard blinked several times as he tried to focus on the hand waving dizzily in front of his face. He grabbed it, and set it down on the table.

"What?"

"You all right? Your eyes look a bit glazed. Too much wine?"

Vince gave him a cheeky wink and Howard smirked, despite himself. Vince stretched his arms above his head and popped his limbs.

"Shall we get going?"

"What's the rush?" Howard asked, not sure which of the two of them was more surprised at that comment. "Besides, it's still too hot to be indoors."

Vince grinned. "Fair enough – but I'm not having any more wine. Get me something with a bit of colour." He thought for a second. "A jug of Blue Lagoon!"

Howard rolled his eyes, but said nothing as he headed up to the bar.

xxxx

An hour later, and Vince and Howard were suitably merry. Vince, giggling like a school girl, was currently trying to tuck a brightly coloured cocktail umbrella behind Howard's ear.

"Vince!" Howard laughed, batting his friend's hand away. "Stop it."

"Oh! But you need brightening, Howard – and hot pink is **definitely **you."

"I'm bright enough, thank you very much."

Vince snorted, and then pursed his lips into a rather endearing pout. Howard folded his arms.

"I'll wear that umbrella if you down this pint," he said, indicating his almost full glass.

Vince pulled a face. "No way! It's brown, for a start, and it's all **sour**."

"You mean bitter?"

"Whatever – I'm not drinking it."

"Fine – you can keep your umbrella."

Then Vince jumped as a large bee flew into his face. His knee knocked harshly against the underneath of the table, which in turn sent Howard's drink flying. Howard moved quickly to avoid getting soaked.

Vince cursed, his eyes watering from the pain as he rubbed his knee.

Howard winced at him sympathetically. "You all right, little man?"

"I'll live. Sorry about your drink. Want me to get you another one?"

"Nah, doesn't matter. Ready to go?"

A few minutes later, they were half walking, half stumbling along the path towards home, laughing every now and then at nothing in particular, both giddy and warm and happy. Vince was clutching Howard's arm, a big grin on his face. He stopped them suddenly, and bent down to pick a dandelion from the verge. He held it up to Howard's face.

"Make a wish and blow on it."

Howard was about to protest at the childishness of it, but then he caught the look of perfect innocence on Vince's face, his glowing skin and startling blue eyes, which were far too big for a bush baby, let alone a Camden electro prince, and which sparkled from too much sun and alcohol, and were looking at him far too expectantly, and he couldn't refuse. So, he briefly closed his eyes, and then blew, opening his lids in time to see the seeds scatter on the gentle breeze.

Vince was rocking back and forth on his heels. "What d'ya wish for?"

Howard smiled, and started to walk again, Vince almost skipping alongside him and taking hold of him again.

"If I tell you, it won't come true, will it?"

His tone was teasing, and Vince swung round on his arm.

"It will! You can tell me! I'm special!"

Howard laughed affectionately. "Yes, you're **very **special, Vince – and a little bit drunk."

Vince shook his head. "'m not."

"Are."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am not!"

Vince gave Howard a playful shove, and the bigger man stumbled slightly, chuckling as he regained his balance, before grabbing Vince and tickling him. A little voice in the back of Howard's mind stirred, and was about to question what was going on, but then decided that, after holding deep and meaningful conversations with other parts of Howard's brain, that it was about time its jazzy owner did something about his repressed feelings, and promptly went back to sleep.

Vince squirmed and squealed in Howard's grasp, and breathlessly tried to twist underneath his friend's arm in a desperate bid to get away from him.

Howard's face lit up in delight. "Say sorry, and I'll let you go."

Vince beamed at him. "Never – argh!"

This little episode only carried on for a few more seconds, however, as Vince ended up bumping heads with Howard, and the two of them paused. Vince pulled a face and put a hand up to his head.

"Ouch."

"Sorry," Howard said, trying to catch his breath.

And then, suddenly, things weren't so funny anymore.

"Howard?"

"Mmm?"

They stared at each other rather intensely, eyes burning right through. Howard swallowed thickly, aware that, even amongst the smell of sun cream and flowers and hot tarmac and booze, he also could smell sweets and Vince's hair-shine spray and hot skin and – and everything else that was **him**. And then, before he could even think about taking another breath, Vince bobbed his head forward and closed the small gap between them. His lips were gentle but needy, soft but enticingly wet, and Howard felt himself kissing back, even though he wasn't actually aware of having any control over his own movements.

Vince, on his part, was mentally breathing a huge sigh of relief. Almost convinced that Howard would run, the drink had been the only thing to give him the courage to actually make a move on his friend. Up until today, he had been sure that Howard only had eyes for Gideon, the undeserving floozy at the zoo who couldn't even be bothered to remember Howard's name, let alone actually have a conversation with him. But, there something about him now, on this day of all days, that made him seem more carefree and happy, his face relaxed and radiant, and the joyful look in his small, but beautiful, chocolate syrup eyes left Vince completely spellbound. Vince twisted his arms around Howard's neck, pulling him closer. He licked at his lips, making Howard gasp and open his mouth, tongues sliding together deliciously.

A few more seconds, and Howard reluctantly pulled away. He had to know.

"Vince – is this really want you want?"

Vince looked up at him, eyes slightly dazed and lips a luscious ruby red, all bee stung and wet. The sight set something off inside of Howard, so he was silently very pleased when Vince responded with a quick, breathy 'yes', as that meant he could push Vince backwards up against the wall running along the path, his newly found desire threatening to overwhelm him as he kissed the man in his arms for all he was worth. Vince moaned into his mouth as the kiss became more intense and messy, teeth knocking together, tongues fighting for dominance, lips nibbled and sucked, hands digging into skin and clawing through hair, Vince's back pushed right up hard against the cooling brick. Eventually, regrettably, they had to come up for air. Howard gasped and Vince smiled lustfully at him.

"So – is this what **you** want?" he teased.

Howard grinned. "It's what I wished for."

Vince gave the heavens a quick glance. "Wow – you're really good."

Howard laughed, and then captured Vince's mouth once more.

"Home," Vince mumbled hotly, vaguely aware that someone was walking up the path towards them.

Howard ran his tongue over Vince's lips. He knew exactly what Vince was implying, and he trembled slightly with anticipation.

"Zoo's closer."

"The hut?"

"I'm game if you are."

xxxx

Making it back with their dignity intact was no mean feat, and they were now walking through the grounds of zoo, trying their hardest not to touch each other and give the other keepers something to gossip about.

As soon as the door to the hut was closed and locked, Vince leapt on Howard and wrapped his legs around his waist, pulling his head in for another kiss. Howard pushed him up against the door, his arousal growing rapidly as Vince writhed against him. The door creaked, and realising the noise might attract unwanted attention, Howard carried Vince hastily over to the sofa, stumbling slightly as he made his way across the room, their lips still locked together. They fell onto it, rolling about as they fought for dominance, licking, sucking, teasing and nibbling every bit of exposed skin they could find, and then tearing at clothing to get to more. The hut was stuffy and humid, moonlight shining through in a hazy streak through a small gap in the curtains, which had thankfully been closed all day in an attempt to keep out as much heat as possible.

Vince moaned as his trousers became uncomfortably tight around his crotch, and Howard worked quickly to free him, pausing for a moment afterwards to drink in the sight of his best friend – his **lover –** below him. Vince's skin was hot and sticky, his eyeliner smudged in an endearingly debauched way, cheeks luminous, lips like cherries, dirty blonde highlighted hair damply framing his face, body completely naked and willing and his to adore and worship. And now Vince was smiling up at him, and at that moment Howard had to try really, really hard to resist the urge to cry, until Vince bit down on his lower lip and changed his look from sweet to seductive quicker than Howard could blink, and his swell of emotions was quickly pushed back down as he was pulled flush against the angel beneath him, who rocked his hips against Howard's, drawing the most beautiful sound from deep within his throat.

With every breath they went deeper and deeper into each other, delirious, drunk on nothing else now but passion, taking more and more and more until all they could see was stars and all they could hear was the sound of blood pounding in their ears. The windows steamed and the wood creaked from the heat and the sofa banged against the wall, but it wasn't noticed in the least. It was just them. Always, only them.

xxxx

Howard awoke the next morning to see Vince wobbling towards him on his way back from the toilet, still starkers and not in the least bit bashful. Vince grinned when he caught his eyes, flopping back down on the sofa and snuggling against him comfortably, even though the temperature in the hut was now so high that the thermometer had all but given up and seemed to be sweating with the effort of doing its job effectively.

Vince smiled sleepily as Howard dropped a kiss onto his head and gently ran a hand up and down his arm.

"You've turned my legs into jelly – and they've never been jelly-like for **this **long before. I felt like Bambi when I was trying to walk to the loo."

Howard grinned, his ego getting a well earned boost, not that it needed much of one anymore, and his grinned widened as he remembered how, only hours earlier, Vince had been all but screaming his name.

"Do you think anyone heard?"

Howard shrugged and claimed Vince's lips with his own. "Don't care."

Vince smiled against him, then remembered something.

"Hey – isn't it our day off today?"

Howard pulled back from him slightly, thinking. "I think you're right, little man."

Vince straddled him and nibbled at his ear, breathing into it huskily and making Howard shiver.

"In that case, I propose we go home and make love all day, with the windows open, as loudly as we want too."

Well, Howard wasn't going to argue with that.


End file.
